'I WOULD HAVE ENLISTED... BUT' MORALE PATCH

We aren't saying there is anything wrong with NOT serving, but jeez... this gets old. The prestige of service with the U.S. military can have strange, albeit predictable effects on civilians feeling the need to explain why they never joined. Whatever dude, you knew you wouldn't get through MEPS with that raging case of the crabs and you can't duck walk for shit.  Bet you watch the fuck out of the Boot Camp scene in Full Metal Jacket though.